No More, No More

No more depression, no more, no more
That's what I asked for, o'er and o'er

Pills I was given to take every night
They'd kill the darkness and show me the light

So take them I do
Each night through and through

And feelings no more
Are dark like death's door

Yet unhappy I remain
And every day's the same

I feel better, honest
Despite what they cost us

But my thoughts disagree
And rage like the sea

Unforgiving of the loss
Of the pain that I toss
Away like the garbage it is.

I'm still depressed
My thoughts are a mess
I've never hated me more.

Escape though I try
Do I really deny
The fact that I really deserved this?

Selfish, so mean
Crazy, unseen

Awful, I swear
Like you really care

I'm a monster but you try to hide it.

These pills are a shield
But I can't really yield
The feelings I should never let go.

The honest, the right
The truth, the fright

All I should never ignore.

I want to be happy
Not be so sassy

I want to be normal
But its not 'hormonal'
When I know I don't deserve better

Maybe I should stop it all
The pills, the fight, just fall
And let the dark consume me

But what about them
The ones I call friends
Who would somehow actually miss me?

Can I leave them behind
Like I don't really mind

And let them suffer
Cause I couldn't be tougher?

That doesn't seem fair
And I couldn't bear
To make them feel like me.

So I'll pretend to be strong
Like I've faked all along

To make them believe I'm ok
So maybe they'll never stray
To the land of lost hope
That I now call home today.